Tentang

Saturday 20 October 2012

Jaga jaga dengan Buck Futter.

Kisah separuh benar. Separuh.

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Pintu bilik kecil itu diketuk tiga kali. Kedengaran sayup suara halus dari luar menyapa. Seraya, penghuni tunggal bilik kecil itu mematikan monitor dan speaker komputer desktop nya.

"Assalamualaikum." Sapa lagi suara halus itu.

"Waalaikumussalam, come in. Oh Lily. To what do I owe you this pleasure?" Jawab penghuni bilik.

"Erm, I sorry Professor Buck Futter because I coming not telling you before. But I got something to talk to you."

"Really? What's it about?"

"It's about... ermmm what you call that eh? erm.... Prof, can I speak Malay? I more comfortable speaking in Malay."

 "Ok."

"Ini pasal carry mark saya untuk semester ni professor. Prof, takkan rendah sangat carry mark saya, prof? Tak sampai separuh ni." Lily merayu.

"Yes, that's your carry mark. To be honest, I have been too lenient with you"

"Lenient tu apa sir?"

"Generous. Murah hati. Honestly, you don't even deserve 25 over 60. You were absent on the day we did our first test, weren't you? Did you give me any valid reasons? I don't think so. I didn't even get a shred of an MC. For your second assignment, your group mates complained to me that you weren't contributing enough for the team. We discussed this last two weeks, and you did admit that you are to be blamed, and you are willing for your marks to be deducted."

"But takkan lah 5 over 30 prof?" Mata Lily mula merah. Di sebalik tudung merah jambunya, dapat Lily rasa telinganya bertukar merah. Mungkin telinga dia tidak dapat menerima kebenaran yang dilontarkan Professor Buck Futter. Kebenaran, yang juga kesilapan yang boleh sangat kalau Lily nak elakkan sebenarnya. Butir butir air mata penyesalan mula bertakung.

"5 is for your language, over 10. 10 marks for content, gone. You gave me too little. And, even on that 3 pages that you wrote, those pages are from wikipedia. What do you think I am? I am a Professor, young lady.

A friggin' PROFESSOR.

Do you think I wouldn't recognize a copy-paste entry from Wikipedia? For this assignment, I have also deducted another 10 marks from you because of your lack of commitment towards this assignment."

"Professor! I am sorry prof! I learned my lesson... Please don't fail me Prof... There must be something I can do untuk top up my carry marks, prof"

Professor Buck Futter tarik nafas panjang.

"No. I will not raise your marks. This is your punishment. If I raise your marks, you will repeat the same thing to your other friends. This is an effect caused by your own choices. When you have made a choice, be prepared to face the consequences. Next time, think before you do something."

"Professor, saya sanggup buat extra assignment sir. Please sir. I cannot fail... My dad will angry at me Prof..." Air mata Lily tak mampu ditahannya lagi. Setitik demi setitik ia jatuh dari pipi halus, putih. Dia menangis teresak - esak. Luluh hati Professor bila dia melihat perempuan menangis.

Sekali lagi Professor Buck Futter tarik nafas panjang.

"Look, there is still your final exam coming. And that's 40%. You only need another 25% for you to pass."

"Mana mungkin, Prof... Tak mungkin saya dapat score 25% dari 40%.."

"Lily, kalau awak cakap awak gagal sebelum exam, nanti exam saya jamin awak akan betul betul gagal. Believe in yourself, Lily. You can do it. You can score. I have faith in you." Pujuk Professor Buck Futter sebaik mungkin. Professor Buck Futter ni, walaupun bergelar professor; paling pakar dalam bidangnya, tapi bila masuk bab memujuk hati perempuan, kepakarannya dalam bidang ni laksana budak sekolah darjah 1.

Entah bagaimana, hati Lily mula tenang. Dipujuk dan dipujuk, dia semakin yakin pada dirinya sendiri. Sepuluh minit kemudian, dia betul betul yakin pada dirinya sendiri dan berazam untuk membaiki dirinya. Dia minta izin untuk keluar, dan tidak lagi menoleh belakang. Langkah wanita itu penuh berwawasan.

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Sebaik sahaja Lily menutup pintu biliknya, Professor Buck Futter menarik nafas panjang bertalu talu. Lutut kiri dan kanan diketuk ketuk. Sedikit sebanyak, Pergerakan 'Ular dalam Seluar'nya mula beransur jinak.

"Pergh. Deja vu siot... Ayat nak sebijik sebijik keluar dari benda alah ni kan? What the fuck. Kah kah."

Monitor dan speaker komputer desktop miliknya yang dimatikan sebentar tadi dibuka semula. Professor Buck Futter menggerakkan tetikus ke kotak pangkah merah GOM Video Player yang tak sempat dia tutup tadi dan menutup siri Amerika Nakal, Cikgu Lucahku yang Pertama yang dia sedang tengok sebelum Lily sampai tadi.

Tak perlu dia tengok sampai habis cerita dalam komputernya itu kerana padanya, cerita itu telah pun berlaku, dan semua aksi aksi itu berlaku di dalam imaginasi mindanya, dan Lily sebagai watak pembantu.

1 comment:

farra fajima said...

jauh sangat kau berimaginasi, buck futter
haha